27 Jan 2008
Will God Bless All this Party with Lights and Colors tonight?
I hope He will, be because I was feeling a pleasure to watch people burn their money for free as those shits. I don’t know, I was like “wow, cool” while at the moment, I saw pictures are sliding all over my mind, as they go through my memories of 2007.
Wew. It’s crazy, I think. Kayak semua yang gue udah laluin keliatan lagi, then suddenly everything went blur, and I just couldn’t stop my tears from pouring down. And that was sucks. So on, I start to avoid windows and keep my self locked in room. I just force my mind to tell my self that I have no more tears, it has been too many times since I lost it a lot, since 2007 was a great living moment for problems and shits.
But then I hear the sounds.
The sounds of those fireworks are shit, men. They keep me in my own world, the one that makes me cry a lot the whole fuckin year. And I keep remembering my days, bad ones. And I absolutely can’t walk through you with my chest raised high up to the sky and tell you that I am having such the best year of my life. I fucked that one up.
So then I am trying to get my vision out. I am trying to get my hearing off of my self. But then I fucked it all up again. I couldn’t make sure what I want, what I need and what I should do.
Weew. Such a pleasure to watch the sky’s party, with it’s own parade, made me feel a lot like loser. but I am (really) afraid that God will hate us so much that we (all) haven’t been such a god citizens, haven’t pray enough, haven’t love each other enough, and haven’t remembering Him enough to make Him love us that much. So then I know why would I cry on these stupid crazy things, it is all because I love Him so much and I can’t let my self throw a party while the others are starving and crying. I just can’t let that happen to me. Well, I Love You, God.
Ya Allah, bless me with in your power, your love and carry me wherever I go. I need You and You know that. And all I want from now on is for You to be with me whenever, wherever, and whatever happens to me. Once more time and on, I REALLY LOVE YOU A LOT, GOD. Be with me the whole 2008. give me another pleasure next year and I promise You I’ll do my best here and on. Make my country a better place to live, and forgive our sins, please.
Labels: heavy (enough) thoughts
corpsman ; Sunday, January 27, 2008
