<!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d4573264622467020525\x26blogName\x3demotions+spray\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dTAN\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://adolescentcircus.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_GB\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://adolescentcircus.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d2570423810541422938', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

urlblogspotcom

27 Feb 2008

kites are kites, we are who we are


A : can't you see it? the right one got a better brain
B : yeah, and better look
C : But the other one got its own beautiful color
B : i am not seeing any, it has no more color on it anyway
well, i am seeing some
i am blind for eyes but i am not as blind as you are

Labels:


corpsman ; Wednesday, February 27, 2008


24 Feb 2008

babies, put some smiles on


so let the love tear us apart
i've found the cure for broken heart
mereka harus tau rasanya tertawa
mereka harus tau rasanya bahagia
bukan hanya itu, ku banyak mau
ku ingin mereka mengerti
irama dunia berputar di atas kaki
biarkan mereka berlari atas diri mereka sendiri
biarkan mereka mulai meniti
sebuah hidup yang lebih hakiki
ku ingin mereka mengerti
caranya melompati bukit duri
biarkan mereka mengintip meski hanya setipis pipi
sebuah harapan dibalik terali
hindari panasnya api
takkan biarkan mereka bersedih
ku mau mereka tak berperih
ayo adik senyum sedikit lagi!
i love to see you as happy as you can be

Labels: ,


corpsman ; Sunday, February 24, 2008


18 Feb 2008

this is not a love letter


these pencils went along with the heart
they shaped it heart
they express what its feeling
i am writing this on because i want you
need a place for my own and share mine in yours
i am not trying to teach you,
i am writing to reach you
no it is not

Labels:


corpsman ; Monday, February 18, 2008


forgotten


i was looking for something perfect and not risky
something that might be called for sure and ever lasting
then he told me not to look for it or instead i'll get lost.
well i am done with this, i am lost

perfect doesn't make sense sometimes
this picture isn't perfect, but i love the way it goes wrong

corpsman ; Monday, February 18, 2008


16 Feb 2008

you're a man. act like one


don't be stupid, boy
you're growing up
don't forget what you are already know
best friends you got here, are still the best of you
i ain't coming home, i don't need that attention
but you do
go do some good choices of life
go make a time, make a life full of smiles
make it better when i am here
make it much better when she's there
you like her i know
get her and be real sometimes
grow up some muscles, make it a better way to smile
forget these problems, don't be bother to ask
ask us some questions, you might always wanted to know
hey boy. don't be stupid
think happy thoughts, though we're separated,
you got me here and you got us
please welcome the new piece of mind
ayo bestfriend, kita bisa :D

corpsman ; Saturday, February 16, 2008


9 Feb 2008

interruptions for expectations


so many things are left unsaid
but you know i got it all set
for something that might not be reset
i know i have done something bad
these dreams i had
leave me behind with something i don't respect
it interrupts me everytime i slept
and kick me out of the dreams i've read
i see hopes flew something like red
then comes the time i just can't stop my step
just to see how people are going upset
i do ups and downs, we don't give a shed
banyak yang saya harapkan dari setiap senja yang datang
tak satupun bawakan harum seperti bintang
banyak kata yang terbuang
biarkan saja sang gajah membeli uang
bukan mau saya punya mimpi banyak sekali
saya cuma mau jalani hidup tanpa sesali
kadang kaki ini hendak berlari
tapi apa saya perbuat otot tak menyanggupi
maaf kalau saya jadi begini
harapan saya toh banyak di interupsi

corpsman ; Saturday, February 09, 2008


7 Feb 2008

this picture really did a good job for me


dia lempar aku tinggi di atasnya
buat aku lebih berjasa, lebih berguna
biarkan saja kaki ku ada di mukanya
asalkan aku bersedia tertawa, katanya
dia bilang padaku, itu ada tandanya
ku tanya, apa boleh kita lewat sana?
dia bilang boleh saja,
ayah dan anak berjalan bersama,
hanya itu tujuannya

Labels: ,


corpsman ; Thursday, February 07, 2008


instead of my self, i wrote about my father


i don't know if it's just me or so does everyone else here
but i think i have my other self here in my head
i don't know if i can still call it my other self, it's me anyway




banyak yang bilang gue itu ceria dan terlalu terbuka. wah mereka gak tau aja. i can be so dark inside and they don't know me yet. di rumah, bokap gue selalu menilai gue sebagai seorang sosok yang sangat merefleksikan dirinya sendiri, with somethings uncommon, thanks god. misalnya sifat gue yang sangat keras kepala dan ga pernah mau dengerin omongan orang. juga sifat arogan gue yang ga perduli sama orang lain, but my self. semua pusat pikiran dan hidup gue tuh ada di diri gue sendiri. dan mereka (keluarga gue) ga ada yang berani mengganggu semua itu. they just see me as the way i saw my self, and they (sometimes) treat me the way i want to. but sometimes, they just don't get what i wanted. dan dengan tololnya gue cuma bisa marah2 dan protes kenapa gak ada orang yang tau mau gue. padahal, dengan semua sifat gue yang sangat menarik diri dari keluarga, kalo bukan karna bokap gue yang sifatnya sama kayak gue, mungkin sekarang gue udah mati bunuh diri.




terus, gue sendiri ga ngerti kenapa gue bisa punya dua sisi yang amat berbeda kayak gini. di satu sisi, gue lebih suka sendirian dan berkutat dengan kehidupan gue yang sudah cukup mengasyikan buat gue. tapi di sisi lain, gue gak suka sendirian, gue suka ada di sekeliling orang2. well, just to have some jokes to laugh at, honestly. tapi gue sadar gue butuh surroundings.




mungkin itulah alesan2 kenapa selama ini orang ga ada yang bisa tau gue kenapa, malah gue sendiri aja bingung and dying to know. sering banget gue ngerasa dunia gue hancur, as ruined as it could be, tapi lima menit kemudian begitu nyampe sekolah gue udah ketawa2 sama temen sebangku gue ngetawain gue yang tadi pagi mandi sambil nangis. sama halnya kayak gue ngomongin seberapa kecewanya gue sama sahabat2 gue ke temen gue yang lain sambil ngelemparin jokes2 tentang mereka, yg akhirnya gue sambut dengan tawa.




ga ada emosi gue yang bisa gue tunjukkin dengan tepat. di saat gue seneng, gue malah nangis. di saat gue sedih, gue juga biasanya nangis. tapi di saat gue kecewa nampol-nampolan, biasanya gue lebih memilih untuk ketawa ngakak sampe mati instead of thinking more about it and cry.


gue emang cengeng, gue gak pungkirin itu. karna gue emang gak punya seorang pun yang bisa bikin gue ngomong semuanya ke dia tanpa dia anggep gue aneh, karna gue emang aneh banget, jalan pikiran gue aneh dan gue tau gue gak se-lovable itu makanya gue selalu menipu diri gue sendiri dengan selalu ceria di depan semua orang, padahal di setiap saat itu, mungkin aja gue abis nangis. gue nangis cuma sebagai pengganti cerita ke orang, berharap abis nangis gue puas.




satu-satunya orang yang ngerti gue ya cuma bokap gue. tapi gue tetep aja harus nemuin mood yang bener2 pas buat nyeritain semua yang gue rasain ke bokap. tapi biasanya, setiap gue udah dapet mood itu, gue lebih sering memutuskan pembicaraan sakral itu seketika cuma karna tiba2 gue ngerasa jijik sama diri gue sendiri, dan gue gak ngerti rasa itu dateng dari mana. akhirnya bokap gue cuma ngedapetin sepotong diri gue, sedangkan potongan2 lain gue biarin bokap gue nebak2 sendiri, dan hebatnya, bokap gue biasanya menemukan potongan2 lain dari diri gue yang belom gue temuin sebelumnya. itulah kenapa gue bisa nyebut bokap gue itu superhero buat hidup gue.




dia udah bikin gue, dia nge gedein gue, dia jagain gue, dia beliin gue semua yang gue mau, dia ngerti gue, dia nyekolahin gue di sekolahnya sendiri, dia ngajarin gue tentang diri gue sendiri, dan dia udah berkali2 menyelamatkan gue dari bunuh diri.


bokap gue itu bisa dibilang idup gue kali ya?

Labels:


corpsman ; Thursday, February 07, 2008


6 Feb 2008


is it real hard to be grown up?
to have just such a mature-minded fvcking brain?
that's all i wanted for, God

mungkin emang gampang (banget) untuk cuma tumbuh. makan aja tuh 4 sehat 5 sempurna. selesai deh. tapi gak segampang itu untuk ngebikin otak lo tumbuh, tumbuh dewasa dan bisa berfikir selayaknya orang dewasa. susah banget rasanya.
buat orang yang tergolong udah tau tujuan, yaitu jadi dewasa kayak gue aja masih butuh sejuta effort buat ngewujudin itu semua. dan sampe sekarang, i guess i only have reached 3 out of 100%. geela, mati aja lo nsy.

facts that i've found:

1. Dewasa itu pilihan. kalo gue sih, setiap kali gue menghadapi suatu masalah, gue selalu merasa kalau gue punya dua pilihan yang pertama kali muncul: hadapi atau hindari. dan biasanya sih, biasanya ya, gue lebih memilih untuk menghindar. okay you might call me a freaky loser, but hey i am not the only one. terus kalo udah gue hindari, then gue dihadapkan dengan pilihan lain: terus tersakiti oleh perasaan sendiri atau balik lagi ke pilihan pertama. biasanya, lagi2 biasanya, gue sih milih balik ke pilihan pertama dan mengganti options gue menjadi Hadapi, sob. and then as time goes by, gue selalu berharap kalo gue bisa membuka pikiran gue lebih luas, just like the elders did.


2. The Easiest way to forgive someone is to look into the damn world by his/her eyes. alias mengganti sudut pandang masalah kita dengan sudut pandang si pelaku kriminal (kriminal yg terjadi menurut our damn fvcking brain). dengan begitu biasanya, biasanya otak gue bisa lebih terbuka untuk menerima kesalahan dia, malah biasanya gue jadi malu sendiri, karna kalo gue jadi dia, maybe i'd do something even worse than that. watch out, people. tapi akhirnya gue menemukan kasus yang 'tidak biasa', sebuah kasus yang akhirnya memaksa gue meletakkan kata -biasanya- instead of -selalu-. sebuah kasus di mana setelah gue berfikir dan merenung dan berimajinasi se-kreatif mungkin, gue tetep aja ga pernah bisa menerima kesalahan cecunguk kriminal itu. gatau kenapa, gue selalu berfikir kalo gue jadi dia, well, honestly, i will never do that, even if i were him/her. fvck them anyway


3. The Hardest part to get into mature is Forgiving. ga perlu penjelasan, kan? Mahatma Gandhi pernah bilang sama gue: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” tapi mau gimana lagi dong, gue juga gak ngerasa gue strong. so? what the hell should i do?
4. All we need is love, really. SEHARUSNYA, kita itu lebih banyak mencintai, bukannya berharap dicintai. harusnya kita bisa ngeliat dunia ini sebagai sebuah dunia yang indah banget, yang semua orangnya selalu baik. yang meskipun lo di jutekin, lo masih bisa sayang sama tuh orang, dengan mncoba berpikir kalo tuh orang cuma lagi pegel nahan boker. Tapi sayangnya oh sayangnya, susah betul tampaknya.
this is the world coming down on my head. eh mahatma gandhi, ga usah sotoy doangan deh lo, ajarin gue dong, what to do and how to?

Labels:


corpsman ; Wednesday, February 06, 2008


5 Feb 2008

my best friend



halo, teman. lama tidak berjumpa.
kemarin bilang padaku katamu ingin mati saja?
kukira sekarang kau sudah tiada
ternyata kita masih bisa bertemu muka
sudah jam 9, mataku tak kunjung lelah
mungkin rinduku padamu yang tak mau berpisah
aku pun berjanji tak akan kalah

terima kasih sudah kembali
bawakan aku asumsi vitamin seperti tadi
perutku bilang kau baik sekali
hari ini aku tau kan tak akan pergi lagi
selama aku tau kapan harus memberi

dari saat aku lahir , kau temani ibuku
di saat aku tumbuh, kau selalu bersamaku
biarkan aku selalu bersamamu
tak mau ku dipisah waktu

tolong sampaikan pesanku pada Tuhan di langit sana
aku mau Ia selalu berada bersama kita
di sini mengarungi hidupku dengan semua tikungannya
aku mau kita selalu bersama

it's you, happiness. it's you

Labels: ,


corpsman ; Tuesday, February 05, 2008


3 Feb 2008

when it comes to letting go


so, it's allright. if you change your way of thinking
we can't reclaim those shots we punch away last year
days, i spent wanting some of Kurt's art soul
i spoke with words that rhime, and hope it's speaking my mind
and probably life is great, but never real
too little space for holding on those souldiers
if it's because of me, i may well have to kill and choose the mood
is it more is it less? can't dany it's feeling


friend, we've been thinking of the shits since i am throwing melody
this is it serious, as simple as these lifes
when you punch me on the head, it's okay for me to still flow some smiles up
it's not forgotten, bitch
kick my ass if it's not a crime,
for a best friend not to say hello when they pass each other

i get sick of these language
since i am not in to any course in the fvcking surface of this moving earth
when will you go?
i've spent quite almost a month
my mouth is filled with blood from trying not to speak
please understand, this isn't just goodbye
this is i can't stand you
days that are over
we're not continue to last
this isn't working out for you or me
i live the heat for our ship that sinking down
all the friends we ever know, and all the words i know
and now they all come out too late for you to realize,
i hope you do realize someday
cause i have never seen this place.

Labels:


corpsman ; Sunday, February 03, 2008


1 Feb 2008

the victim of live



kurung diri sendiri, 3 hari berlalu tanpa arti
diam menjahit dua daging tipis di bawah pipi
ponsel berdering, ayah ingin diskusi
banyak hal untuk diluapkan, air tak kunjung ke tepi
dia sendiri tak mengerti sampai mana hidupnya bermimpi
harapan ada, tapi bukan untuk diyakini
terlalu mudah memancing teman, kadang menghias senyum tersendiri


she got stucked in some damn fibers,
those that she doesn't know they even exist
too reluctant to accept my help, she struggle there all alone
none of any mature-minded person she got
so much to say, no words but swearing
the loneliness building with each passing day
her heart is already broken, before i try to rebuild it
you'll never guess what's not inside

she'll talk with finger crossed
so many times she stayed at home and tell everyone she got sick
well, she's sick with her life
and everything that goes around

living her life with her family around
she found an island of her own life
leaving her love and her family behind
oh, stupid girl you need to find some piece of mind
alone in the brand new island of her mind
she lives there with trees and green grass out of guilty pleasures
she said 'let's keep talking to stop the clockwatching'

she's using her right brain, and she cum so fast
she made it to three, but she'll be dead by threes
she's feeling alone in everysingle second of this moving earth
she got bunch of friends to find something new to laugh at
but got no friends to understand any tears of her smile
think happy thoughts, girl
and don't get stupid

with love, loser

corpsman ; Friday, February 01, 2008


Hi Fellow Human

Welcome to my Emotionspray. congrats! you're the
click here for free hit counter code
hit counter code
little monkey to be here!

Briliant Sih

iam the kind of yellow-freak species. i used to be in love, but let me tell you monks. this is the world that i visited when i am bored. so i maybe different. but hey, i am still the one you thought i was.


language

i am a human that speaks the language of english and bahasa, and sooo fucking little japanese

here.
dont make me lonely, drop some words!

Take A Peek

Annisa Puspasari
Briliansy's Tale
Briliansy's Stupid Works
Gitta Karina
Bebek
Pipe Dreams
Sabila
Arini Purwono
Aishanatasha
Arini Annisa


Cool Stuffs

Who do you think he are
Jakarta Street Looks
Serasa
Faces In Places
Wordperhect
Little People
sprinkle brigade


credits

design: lycheefairy
brushes: jamesruthless
basecodes: rowena

Yesterdays

  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • September 2008
  • November 2008